This morning, I checked my bank balance to see what kind of damage I had done to it. I ordered pizza on Wednesday night, as my sister and one of our friends came over (her birthday was Thursday, so Bird and I treated her to dinner and cake), and had also spent $20 e-filing my friend Dan’s state taxes. My checking account is about where I thought it should be – $75 over my rent – which was not great, but that is how I keep my checking account. The more money I keep away from me, the better I am about not spending it. Out of sight, out of mind, as it were, as if it is in my checking account, I WILL spend it. However, my savings account was significantly higher than I thought it should be, and I looked and saw that my state tax return has already been processed and deposited. Excellent!
Even without the state return inflating my numbers, this has been a really good month for savings. Steve and I are working to cut out our frivolous expenses, and somehow, I have managed to save $1250 this month. I will pay my car payment out of that, as I always do, but even that will still be a net of $800. I don’t think Steve has saved that much, because when I get all thrifty, I rely on him to pay more for things. This is an abnormal month, for sure, but it makes me realize that increasing our housing cost by $300 is maybe not so scary. If I can put that much money away in a month by myself (and, honestly, I don’t even make that much money), we can surely make the extra payment together. I should be getting my federal tax return on 2/1 (or, maybe 2/8), which will bring my savings up into a really comfortable place for a person who is about to lay down a significant chunk of money for a down payment on a house.
We got confirmation from our loan processor that we have been cleared for closing. Final approval. Done. That was so easy! It is funny how technology has made this process into something that is really quite easy. We have never even met our mortgage guy; we’ll meet him at closing. We just communicate by email, phone, and fax. It’s great. I had heard that this process was difficult, but we have had really great people working with us and they have made it so smooth. The first mortgage lady? Not so much. I want to email her now to tell her that we have the money that she told us we needed before rejecting us outright, and then say, “Oh, but we won’t have it for long because we will be closing on our house on 2/16 NO THANKS TO YOU.” But, that would be bitchy. Right? It still just sticks in my craw, though. I felt so judged and so….incapable. When, I know that we are actually quite responsible (for the most part) and capable of doing this.
It is all pretty exciting, but a little daunting. I’m not necessarily nervous about the “homeowner” piece or the “wow, I’m actually committing to a 30 year loan with someone!” (once upon a time, that would have freaked me the fuck out), but I am nervous about the logistics. I hate moving. And we really have so much stuff. Operation: Purge is this Sunday, so hopefully we can get rid of a lot of things. We’re selling some books and movies. We will go through our clothes and shoes. Oh, we have so many clothes and shoes that aren’t even used. They would be far better off at the Salvation Army than at our house.
Also, we have Operation: Party on Saturday! Katja. Oh, that sweet little baby of mine. She will be one. I can hardly believe it. Last year at this time, I was working from home on bed rest, waiting and hoping that I wouldn’t have to be induced. I kind of miss bed rest NOW, A YEAR LATER, because I could do fun things like make garlic toast and steak for lunch and just hang out and work when I wanted to or nap if I got tired. Oh, the good ol’ days. But, anyhow, it is incredibly hard to fathom that little Katja has been in our lives for 363 days. She has grown and changed so much. She has changed all of us, too. I think she cemented our little family unit for us. Rowan feels connected, now, to Steve in a way that she didn’t before. We are a bumbling little quartet, but we are OUR quartet. Our family. It is pretty wonderful. I did not necessarily expect that when we decided to have a baby, which is maybe kind of dumb, but here we are. A family. Something that I didn’t even know that I wanted. I had my relationship with Rowan and my relationship with Rowan, and now we’re all intertwined.
I am nervous about having SO many people at our house on Saturday. It is going to be bananas. But, we’ll make do. It was one thing when we just had family and friends, but then I remembered that I forgot to invite my aunt and cousins, and then some people were going to be in town this weekend and they got invited, too, and before I knew it, it had spiraled out of control. It is just going to be low-key, though, for so many people. No decorations or anything. Just food and cake and ice cream and soda and coffee. Conversation (if you can hear over my loud family). It should be okay, except for the sheer number of people and the total lack of space. Oh well.
Moving back, again, to this whole YEAR OLD thing, I have to say that I am incredibly proud that I have breastfed Katja for this long. Pumping at work has not been as difficult as I, in my early days of crazy, thought it would be. It’s not super fun all the time, but it is not difficult and I respond very well to the pump. I am still pumping almost the same amount that I was when I first went back to work in April. A little less, but not much. I plan on continuing to do this for a while, since I clearly have a lot of milk and it would be hard to just suddenly cut back. If Katja doesn’t drink it, I can donate milk to some moms. I have already donated probably 600 ounces total to 4 different moms, and I will definitely do that again if I need to. The breastfeeding part of our relationship is good. I cannot imagine weaning her at one year. When we started, I didn’t know if I would make it six weeks, let alone six months (my original short-term goal), and now we are at one year and it just seems silly to stop. She does bite me from time to time, which hurts like a mother, and she still won’t sleep in her crib and must be next to me all night (though, she does not nurse all night, which is pretty nice)…but, otherwise, it is a really good thing for both of us.
